just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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