I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
