just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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