I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
