so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
