11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
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