i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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