i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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