he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
