I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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