I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
How does one acquire holy water?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i out mim tonsoeep
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