Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Is it penis luge time yet?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
