I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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