quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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