Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
In other news, I just burned my penis
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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