butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
