awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
