WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
