I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
