I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
