...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
