i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
