I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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