doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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