and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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