I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
