Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
