ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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