saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
