doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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