Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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