At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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