Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize