So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
