just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
