I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
