I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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