Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize