Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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