I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
