We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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