i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
