I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
