she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
