I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
