Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
