Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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