He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
