i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
