I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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