Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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