New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
