Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
im on a boat
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