so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
