no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
