was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
