Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
