You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
