I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
