I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
