Your mouth is God's brothel.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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