U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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